Stephen Covey would call it Win Win

It has finally struck me that I've got to that age. You know, the one where you turn into your Dad (or your Mum). And it's over music. Which is a bit hard on my Dad, because when I was 13 he took my brother and me to see David Bowie - and he fell for Bowie every bit as much as we did.

So much so that at Dad's funeral the chapel rang to the sounds of "Ziggy played guitar".

Anyway, my son Alex is 15 (16 next week), and some of his music is now getting a bit too, er, extreme. I'm going through the same reactions as a dad is supposed to go through. "Call that music? It's not even a new tune - the original was much better". And, of course, the killer - "You can't even make out the words".

Of course, none of this would matter - he has his own I-pod, and my noise reduction headphones are better than his. However, we spend almost an hour each way in the car together three times a week on the way to his football training, and the battle for control of the radio (Radio 2 vs Galaxy) has become intense. Until last night.

Until now, we had an agreement in place - one of his songs, then one of mine, then his. Interspersed with one of Ellen's (almost 13) if she's in the car too.

But it's not very satisfactory - he doesn't like mine (and sometimes on Radio 2, I don't either) and I don't particularly like his - especially the Ravey Davey ones.

But last night, on our way home, we had a great idea. A revelation. What Covey would call a Win Win.

Alex will make up a joint playlist for his I-pod (names so far include the AK, the AlKen, the Kenlex). On it, he'll put his music that he thinks I'll like - some of the less sweary Eminem, Jay-z, Biffy Clyro and such like. Then I'll put some in of my music - the reggae and funk originals of some of his samples, a bit of glam (although I think that will sound a bit effete for Alex) and 80s/90s hip hop that I think he'll like.

Sorted, as we used to say in 1991.

It was only after we both agreed this sounded like a great idea that I thought about Covey.

In "The Secret Habits of Highly Effective People" he talks about Win Win. And this one is perfect for us. We're both involved. We came up with the idea jointly. We both think it's a nice idea. And we might even learn something from the other's musical taste.

That's the beauty of seeking the Win Win position. Anything else - Win Lose, Lose Win, or even Lose Lose (which would have been the option of agreeing not to play music together at all) creates disappointment and resentment.

In solving problems with your team, your clients, your boss, seek the Win Win position. It's not simply a compromise (in which no-one really feels happy). It's a truly joint agreement which both can enjoy.