Customer care. Do you care?

I've been reading one of those books that makes you want to jump right up and do something else. "Raw Spirit", by Iain Banks. Subtitled "In search of the perfect dram", it's a series of journeys around Scotland, visiting some of her well-known, and less well-known, whisky distilleries.

I enjoyed the book, but it wasn't a thirst for whisky I developed. It was a thirst for travel. And specifically, a thirst for travel around the islands and highlands of Western Scotland - across to Islay, perhaps Mull and Skye, and up through Argyll to the Western Highlands.

So when I found myself in Glasgow recently, I thought I'd take advantage of the Tourist Information booth at one of the main stations to grab a timetable for the Cal-Mac Ferries that run from the Scottish mainland to, and between, the Islands.

Ahead of me in the queue was a group of young women - Spanish, I think. They had just arrived on a coach or bus, and had one simple objective in mind. To shop. Happily, they had arrived in Glasgow, perhaps Scotland's most stylish city for shopping.

They get to the head of the queue. Young man in uniform (well, a tie and jumper - smart, though) says "Can I help you?". Someone must have told him that in Customer Care Class - that, and nothing else.

"Can you tell me where the best shops are?" said senorita number one.

"Shops?" he replied, "Erm, they're everywhere." he replied. True, I suppose, but a literal answer rather than a helpful one.

"Where is the best shopping?" she continued. "Here," he said, taking a map of Glasgow from a pad behind the desk.

"And everywhere." he said as he moved his hand across the map. Taking in, I kid you not, the whole of Glasgow city centre. No suggestions, no directions, no further explanation. Just "everywhere".

As the girls wandered off, none the wiser, someone in the queue stepped over and said "Can I help you?". He proceeded to point out one of the main shopping malls (visible through the windows at the far end of the station) and then suggested a couple of other areas where they might find "Scotland With Style" (the current strap-line of Glasgow Tourism).

I don't blame the lad behind the counter. I blame his bosses. Customer care isn't just about knowing which brochure (or price, or catalogue) to hand out. It's not just about information, or rules, or regulations. It's about caring, really caring. The training should emphasise this. Teach people to think about the customer, to be creative in helping them, to care.

Do I care about this customer? Do I care enough to help them in a way that makes their experience, their journey, their life, better? When they walk away from this conversation will they feel that I have really tried to help them?

When the guy stepped out of the queue, offered to help, and really did so, I suspect those visitors to Glasgow thought a little bit more of the "The Friendly City".

I suspect they didn't feel the same after the conversation with the guy in the uniform.

The anniversary of a great Scottish poet. No, not that one.

Today (14th November 2010) would have been the 100th birthday of Norman MacCaig, one of Scotland's great poets.

This one of his finest poems. We've all known men like this, but not had the talent to celebrate their lives in such a beautiful way.

Praise of a Man

He went through a company like a lamplighter –
see the dull minds, one after another,
begin to glow, to shed
a beneficent light.

He went through a company like
a knifegrinder – see the dull minds
scattering sparks of themselves,
becoming razory, becoming useful.

He went through a company
as himself. But now he's one
of the multitudinous company of the dead
where are no individuals.

The beneficent lights dim
but don't vanish. The razory edges
dull, but still cut. He's gone: but you can see
his tracks still, in the snow of the world.

Scotland supports England - well, mostly.

As I write, the World Cup is about to start. The opening ceremony is minutes away, the first match is this afternoon, and England's first game is tomorrow night.

So as a Scotsman, I have to make a decision. Who do I support?

The decision is made. I will be supporting England. You shouldn't be surprised at this. They are, after all, the nearest thing we have to a local team, and I was brought up to support the local team whoever they are.

In any case, you shouldn't believe that scurrilous rumour put about that Scottish fans support two teams... Scotland, and whoever is playing against England. It's simply not true.

We will always support England - unless, of course, they are playing against a country with which we have a lot in common.

Ireland, for example. Another Celtic nation, a land of romance, language and literature, just like Scotland. So when Ireland play England, we tend to favour the Irish.

And Wales. We've got to support Wales - they're Celts too. So that's Scotland, Ireland, and Wales.

And France. Because of the "Auld Alliance". France and Scotland were friends long before we became friends with England. Assuming, that is, that we're friends now.

So that's it - Scotland, Ireland, Wales and France. And Canada - we've all got aunties and uncles in Canada. And Australia. And New Zealand.

Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Apart from them, we'll always support England.

Oh, what about USA? Come on - cowboys, hamburgers and Bugs Bunny? What's not to like?

But as long as you don't play any of those countries, we're with you all the way.

But Germany - we've got to support Germany. Come on guys, it was a long time ago. Get over it. And the same goes for Argentina. A long time ago, and they were a long way away.

So that's it. We'll support England forever, unless they play Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, USA, Germany or Argentina.

Hang on - Italy. Italy? Pizza, Pasta and Pavarotti. You can't go against the Italians.

Or the Spanish - remember the girl in Marbella that summer?

So to recap, unless they're playing Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, USA, Germany, Argentina, Italy or Spain, we're singing for England.

Come on England!

(Wait a minute. Brazil. Everyone supports Brazil, yeah?).