Some gags, one-liners and motivational quotes

“A grown man should wear white trousers on only two occasions. One, when selling ice cream. Two, never”.
Greg Proops

“People often ask me how I come upon the idea… seeing, observing and thinking – that is the answer”.
August Sander

“I asked for an ice cream. He said ‘hundreds and thousands?’ I said we’ll start with just one”.
Tim Vine

“Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend”.
Albert Camus

“He said ‘Knickerbocker Glory?’ I said ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes”.
Tim Vine, again

Quotivations

Some motivational and creative quotes - and a gag or two.

“They asked me to be a Bond girl. I said the only Bond part I want to play is James Bond”.
Angelina Jolie

“All great deeds, all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning”.
Albert Camus

“The place of the father in a modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf”.
Bertrand Russell

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer if they’re happy’”.
Anton Chekhov

“Creativity is thinking up new things. Innovation is doing new things”.
Theodore Levitt

“I like ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon, Dad. But the version from ‘Glee’ is much better”.
Ellen, 12